Heartbroken

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Heartbroken... Mystified... Angry...

These are just a few of the things that I'm feeling in this moment in time. It's just so confusing.

I intimately know the Master of the Universe, and still I'm left to wonder, "Why?"

Why did this man choose to act in such an evil way?

What brought him to the place where he thought that this was some sort of answer?

How could he make a conscious decision to kill children? Babies, really.

Most of all I'm just sort of speechless. Scoot and I were eating lunch when I read about this tragedy. She was singing Jingle Bell Rock in her sweet, small voice while excitedly munching on her cheddar chex mix. I was obviously being pretty quiet, and I heard her start playing her favorite game, "Where's Anna Lyn, Mama?" Then she closed her eyes while I pretended that I couldn't see her, looking all around the kitchen. When she opens them, I know that I'm supposed to smile and say, "There she is!"

I can't imagine her not being there. I can't imagine not being able to have these small moments with my baby girl.

I want to hold her close, and let her know that she is safe and loved. I'm thankful that I'm able to do that. I'm thankful that I'm able to be at home with her. I'm thankful that we are safe.

But I know know that there's a whole world out there. A world that she's going to have to go out into, just like those sweet babies from Sandy Hook Elementary. I know that I can't protect her every moment of every day. Oh, how I wish that I could.

But I do know the Master of the Universe, the Prince of Peace, the Everlasting Father, the Almighty God.

He will protect her when my arms do not reach far enough. He will comfort her when I'm absent. He will provide for her every need. He will sustain her throughout the entirety of her life.

In this Season of Hope, I'm devastated by this loss. Devastated for the families who will feel an emptiness in their hearts and homes this Christmas and beyond. But I know that the Lord is God. I know that he is enthroned on high. He has not left us. He has not fled the scene. He is still, and always will be, in control...

and He cares.

He cares for each and every one of us. So thankful that He cared enough to let His son die at our hands for sins that He had never committed. All of this, so that we could be forgiven... could know Him... could be held under the shelter of His wings.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. " Psalm 56:8 NLT

When the pain is great, friends, His love is greater still! May I always know this and hold it in my heart. Please pray for Sandy Hook.

Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting